presents

the Unbearable Lightness
of Being UNBEARABLE

Essays, Narrative & Articles


I don't consider myself the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm certainly not a spoon. I think about things. I put human nature under a microscope. Sometimes to my own peril. And I write about it. And politics, science, cosmology, relationships, sex, coffee, my angst, my weirdness, my cats & anything else that pops or chaps. But I think you will often find me quite humorous. Especially if you like sarcasm.

Unless you're just blithely cruising through life, you'll notice there's a lot going on in this macrocosm of existence. This means there's a lot going on the microcosm of my brain. Not that there's anything "micro" about my brain. Anyway--here, I will share my thoughts, ruminations, suggestions, complaints and epiphanies where these "cosms" are concerned.
Wear a helmet.
CONTENTS

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Unbearable

1

How Spammers Really Make Money

3

Food For Thought: Veganism

7

Conversations With my Cats--#1 in a series

11

MMA: The Real Deal, though Homoerotic

13

Vicious Cycle: What No One Talks About

19

Politically Incorrect Kevlar

27

Me and Food are Filing for Divorce

29

No More Hall-Decking for You Guys

33

Blog Semantics

35

The Attack of the Wal-Martian

37

I Don't Keep Hoardly Anything

41

Medical Professionals Were NOT Stunned

47

Beware the Drooping Cerebellum

49

Brain Dump: Mortality & Meaning

51

Catching Hell From the Hellish

57

PC, Bad. Honesty, Good

61

News I'd Like to Hear

63

The First Idiot & His Right-Hand Dick

65

Pretend it's a Secret

69

72 Virgins With a Side of Levity

71

Irony, Thy Name is Christian

73

Celibacy is Not Hereditary

75

Occupational Hazard

77

Remote Control Yourself

79

Texting Texting One, Two, 9...oops

81

Coffee, Stupidity, Insanity & Germs

83

Birthday Blows

85

Impatience, M-Theory & the Nihilistic Abyss

87

Coffee Skin

89

Drag Shows are Aptly Named

91

My Birthday Legacy Rumination

93

Hissing Madagascar what?

97

Cheap Wine, Twinkies & Chick-O-Sticks

101

Slippity Doo Dah

103

Zipped Off

107

The Hunter Conundrum

109

Caveats & Conclusions for February

115

Mercy Kissing

117

Immortality or Something Like It

121

FUBAR

125

People Are Just M&M's.

127

Hope Does Not Float

129

Mental Biscuit

131

I Love My Shoes

133

Open Relationships Vs. Monogamy

137

Maybe, Just Maybe I was Wrong.

153

All Ten Fingers

157

The Truth About Cats & Dogs. And Horses. And Mooses

161

Cold Hands, Warm...Thighs.

165

Knock & the Door Won't Be Opened to You

167

A Jarring Thought

171

Awareness, Focus & Mindless Lemmings

173

Fuckedupedness

177

Not Window-Licker Special

183

What is the Deal With Lesbians?

185

The Truth is Ever Clear

189

Cranky-Panted Chaos Theory

193

Love on the Racks

195

Et Tu, Brute?

197

Found a Peanut

199

I Would Have Done Yadda Yadda

201

Not So Vain

203

"Don't You DARE say I'm Unique!"

209

Burning Bush

215

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©1994-2005 Kelli Jae Baeli
Cover art & Design ©2001-2005 Kelli Jae Baeli
All Content, All Rights Reserved.
Any reproduction, sale, distribution or use of this work
is prohibited without the expressed written consent of the author.

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