June 4th, 2009 
Kelli Jae Baeli
My friend Georgie said, “I thought about you in HEB the other night — shopping with you. Made myself giggle.”
Why?”
“Oh I’m sure we’d get kicked out of a store.”
“Just a little kick.”
“No, banished.”
“
Why?”
“Because I tend to steal other people’s shopping carts, after they’ve filled them up and then I argue with them–that they haven’t paid for it yet, it’s not theirs, and I like it, so I’m taking it.”
She’s laughing.
“But I haven’t done that in a long time,” I added.
“I’m gonna have to wear some Depends,” Georgie said.
“Yeah! Maybe I’ll steal a cart with those in it…although, I don’t usually terrorize old people, or the incontinent.”
“Stop! I almost choked–”
Now I’m laughing at her.
She
started name-calling: “REtard.” And then, provided a visual: “Cottage cheese curds sweeping down my wind pipe…”“Well you’ve got to get your calcium somehow.”
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