When I’m single, and meeting new women, dating and searching for that special someone who will fit harmoniously into my life, I often come across women who say “Tell me about yourself.”
I hate that question.
Not because i can’t talk about myself, or am not self-actualized enough to be able to communicate my identity, but because it’s like standing in a library and someone asking, “What’s in all those books?”
I usually have the urge to refer them to my books, or blogs, or music or art.
Then they say, “I don’t want to look at your art, or listen to your music, or read your books or blogs, I want to get to know you on a real level…”
What they fail to understand is that anyone can get to know me almost utterly, through my creative outlets, and probably in a more detailed fashion, than they could ever imagine. My real level is manifested in what I create.
I put so much of myself into my music and art and writing. Even when it’s difficult, or embarrassing, or unpleasant, or painful. This is what I mean when I say I am HONEST. Honesty is not always a ride on a pony. But honesty has its own rewards; some of which are, I don’t ever have to worry about contradicting myself, or apologizing for who I am, nor about feeling guilty, or being accused of deceit.
So often, when faced with probing questions about myself, I say, “Just listen to that song, or read that blog, or just read this or that book.” –Because after going through the process of shoveling and pick-axing my way down deep and unearthing myself so completely, it’s a source of dread and even tedium to have to relate it all again, when I’ve already plumbed the depths of my psyche and shared it in the artistic, written or musical form.
This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy long, meaningful conversations. It just means there is such a legion of data in my head and heart, that I never know which things to select for sharing with an inquisitive new friend. It’s always helpful if they can ask me something specific. Not “What are your politics?” but “What are your thoughts about immigration?” Not, “What do you think about spirituality and religion?” but “What do you believe in, and what’s important to you?”
Because if they ask me something general, my first thought is well, that depends...and then my brain explodes with a thousand different possible responses, and I don’t know which one to pick. And then I come off like someone who has far too much to say about far too many things, and their eyes glaze over, and they are then just as overwhelmed as I was when they asked that question.