I don't consider myself the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm certainly not a spoon.
I think about things. I put human nature under a microscope. Sometimes to my own peril. And I write about it. And I write about writing. And politics, science, cosmology, relationships, sex, coffee, my angst, my weirdness, my cats & anything else that pops or chaps. But I think you will often find me quite humorous. Especially if you like sarcasm.
Unless you're just blithely cruising through life, you'll notice there's a lot going on in this macrocosm of existence. This means there's a lot going on in the microcosm of my brain. Not that there's anything "micro" about my brain. Anyway--here, I will share my thoughts, ruminations, suggestions, complaints and epiphanies where these "cosms" are concerned.
This is a bit retroactive, but felt I should post something….
I‘m almost afraid to say it. I think I’ve finally met someone normal. Stable. Real. A Kindred. After the debacle of my last relationship, i am quite gun shy, and yet, this woman has managed to get around my defenses. It’s so easy to be in her company. Everything just seems to flow smoothly. It’s effortless to spend time with her, and I find myself feeling genuinely happy whenever she’s around.
Kelly and I have been dating 3 to 4 times per week for the last month–long, all-nighters of talking and laughing and learning about each other, dinners out, socializing with friends, road trips…and I have to say, it’s been the BEST dating experience I’ve ever had. We’ve done tons of different things, had some great experiences. She is smart, talented, funny, genuine, sensitive, ethical. And as an added bonus, HOT. ;^) I am drawn to her like she’s a magnet and I’m made of heavy metal.
We have so much in common–even weird, esoteric things–that it seems a little bizarre. We’re both HSP’s, which means our brain architecture is very similar. This creates that feeling of having found a Kindred, I think.
I don’t have a crystal ball, so I can’t predict what will come of this, but what i do know with a surprising degree of confidence, is that she and I will probably be in each other’s lives from this point on.
Things can change in a nano-second. One minute, you’re moving along in your life, perhaps even having a great day and feeling hopeful, and the next, you are reminded of how precarious life can be. Last night Kelly and I had one of those moments. If anything had been slightly different, it’s possible we would not be alive.
We had spent the entire weekend enjoying various activities and meals and socializing with friends. We were on our way back from a fly-fishing excursion in Deckers, and moving through the pitch blackness of Highway 85, between Sedalia and Highlands Ranch, near the town of Louviers. Kelly had requested my original music on the stereo and “Something in Me” was playing. We were happy and tired from our wonderful weekend.
Then something appeared a few feet in front of her car. A large buck-deer. It was as if it had fallen from the sky directly in front of us. There was no time to react. The only thought i recall is, it’s too close. We’re going to hit it. And then the expletive, FUCK.
We made impact in the front passenger side where i was, striking the animal in the hindquarters, and it was just gone, as quickly as it had appeared. By this time, she had braked a little, and we were just continuing down the road, slowly, staring ahead, shocked and trying to assimilate what had just happened. I said, “Kelly….pull over. Pull over…” She did and we just sat there for a few minutes, realizing that we had somehow managed to emerge unscathed from a potentially deadly accident.
I think because we hit him while he was running, and impacted his hindquarters, the momentum just spun him toward the ditch. If we had hit him broadside, things could have been so much worse. Since we were in a small car, it would have been easy for him to have flipped right through our windshield.
I recalled all the stories of deer-impacts on roadways. Some of the stories were straight out of a horror movie. The beast is propelled through the front window, severely injuring or even killing the passengers; sometimes the deer would still be alive, and it would be flailing and kicking, and the passengers would be further injured or killed by that. This particular animal was huge. Maybe 8 or 10 point Buck, with a formidable rack of antlers. I imagined us being gored by those as we sat pinned in the vehicle with him thrashing in pain and confusion.
Soon, i was thinking practicalities and mercy. I had to squeeze through the passenger door, as it was jammed a little by the side panel, and I took pictures of the damage, which was, surprisingly, not half as bad as it could have been. Then she called the Sheriff’s department and asked about filing a report for insurance and we also wanted to get someone from game and fish to find the poor animal and either help it or euthanize it. I didn’t think there was any way it was going to survive, though.
I thought about the experience I’d had with a previous girlfriend, where we were on a trip in Colorado, no less, and had experienced the same vision while driving at night–I had been trying to take a nap in the back seat, and Em was driving. In my mind, while dozing, a vivid and violent scene unfolded–quick seconds of tragedy. I had seen us hitting a deer in the road, and it had come through the front window. I sat straight up and in a panic, said “Baby–”
She said, “Did you see that too?”
“I saw a deer and–”
“We hit it and it came through the windshield–”
We both had to stop and get hold of ourselves, wondering at the strangeness of the event. Not wanting to tempt fate, I had suggested that if this was some kind of warning, we needed to change our timeline. So we pulled over and took a break. When we got back on the road, only a few minutes later, we saw a herd of deer crossing the road in front of us, and they were almost out of site onto the other side. We shared a spooky look with each other.
And Kelly and I — yesterday–I took a video only an hour or so earlier, where a deer had been down the slope of the overlook we stopped at. Now, it seemed a portent of things to come…
(This short vid is of us sitting in the car talking only a moment after it happened.)
As we sat there in Kelly’s car, absorbing what had just happened to us, I heard some thrashing sounds, and eventually, we saw it in the hillside brush, stumbling, its back leg obviously broken, and perhaps its back. It was half falling down the incline and trying to walk. We both were overcome with sadness and heartsick to see the suffering of this beautiful beast. Then we lost sight of it, and made some more calls and finally a State Trooper arrived.
He took a report and told us that he would have to go out there with his flashlight and find the deer, and shoot it. It was sickening to think about, because Kelly and I are both HSP’s and thus very sensitive, but we knew it was the merciful thing. This animal would have either starved while suffering or been attacked by other animals-like wolves- and torn to shreds while still alive. A bullet is always a better alternative.
But, amid this tragic event for an innocent animal, we realized that there was much to be thankful for.
We had just had a Near Death Experience. We had beaten the odds.
We felt so lucky. So unbelievably, inexplicably lucky.
This was the only picture of a spider i could stand to put here, because it’s cute in a creepy, spidery kinda way. I couldn’t spend much time looking for one, anyway, because i would have seen too many spiders at one time, and that would have screwed up my whole day.
My best friend called me not long ago, and in the middle of our conversation, she said, “Hang on, there’s a spider in my car and i have to pull over before I freak out.”
She takes off her shoe to kill it and I warn her that shoes do not kill spiders. They have some kind of shield like on the Starship Enterprise, that engages. You smash them and they get up and walk away.
She claims to have injured it, but crippling a spider is not really crippling a spider–I mean there’s all those legs. You can break one and they can still ambulate. “I hit him pretty hard,” she says. “he has to be concussed. I hope he’s not in my hair–” I’m laughing hard enough to keep from answering, because my best friend’s hair is an ongoing joke in regard to creatures who like to nest in it. “You know spiders like my hair,” she continues. “Now I don’t where he is.”
My best friend, Justi- A good example of hair spiders like.
“He’ll wait until you’re back on the road in traffic,” I say. “and then limp onto your nose, dragging that one injured leg, and bite you right between the eyes.”
There is a short silence, and I hear the distant sound of a car horn in traffic. Then she says, “I’m gonna worry about this until I find the body.”
—————————- *Apparently, Mazda had to recall 52,000 of their cars because Yellow Sac Spiders liked to build nests in the evaporative canister vent line. No human hair there, but still.
Jobeth O’Brien awakens on the floor of her kitchen, her battered face and the memory of an angry visitor tells her that she is close to something important in her investigation. In between this surveillance and delivering newspapers, her beloved ’62 Falcon is the scene of middle-of-the-night romps with a lonely socialite, who gives her more than she bargained for. Her quest for the truth pits her against errant husbands, a modern-day madam with a taste for blood, a horny landlady, a vicious attack dog, and the lies she tells herself. Amid these challenges, Jobeth stakes out her prey and runs for her life, continuing the investigation that pulls her into close calls, unexpected allies, and more secrets. But Jobeth has secrets of her own, and only love can excavate them.
The most appealing thing about this novel is its narrative voice. Written in first person, this novel is wry and humorous. It’s the first thing that draws you into the story and it’s at once self-depreciating and self-assured, which is an interesting combination. For a while I thought this self-assurance bordered on cocky, but by a few chapters into the book I was captivated. It’s a strong voice and it never falters once in the whole novel.
By describing the novel’s voice I’m also describing the main character. She’s pretty much everything a reader needs a character to be – interesting enough to catch our attention, assertive enough to keep it and displaying a depth that promises more to the story if we care to read on. With a character like this, it’s impossible not to read on. She has her weaknesses of course, but all well-rounded characters do. She’s hiding something and this gives her an air of vulnerability that only adds an extra dimension to her otherwise strong, capable and determined character.
The secondary character is just as appealing. Both different in temperament, these two make a terrific team, and their burgeoning relationship in the book is everything you want it to be from the very moment they meet.
Well paced with nail-biting action scenes this novel has a storyline that will have you glued to the page. It manages to stay on this side of believable because at all times the author is demonstrably in control of her material. Immersed in the book, it all seems real and credible and it’s a credit to Jae Baeli’s writing skill. It’s a detective story, action story and romance all in one wild, fulfilling ride. Lots of drama, danger and two sexy women. What more could you want?
Bring together an exciting storyline, a world that is recognizable and real, a bunch of characters to love, hate, laugh at and with as the case may be, and you have all the ingredients of a book well worth reading. I know there’s a second book featuring these characters and I’m looking forward to reading it. If it’s anything like this one, it’s not to be missed.
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The links when you click on the cover will go to the Kindle digital version. They are also available in various formats from Smashwords.